Meryl Streep

Let's face it, folks. If Meryl Streep is faking an orgasm, you are gonna have no fucking idea. She has more Oscar and Golden Globe nominations than ANY ACTOR OR ACTRESS EVER. You could be accidentally inserting your penis into Meryl Streep's belly button, and she'll have you thinking that you're going to work on her g-spot like a stump grinder digging up the roots of a 600 year old oak tree. However, it must be taken into account that the opposite is true as well. You could be at the top of your game, giving Meryl Streep the most thorough and invigorating plowing she's ever received, and she could be drowsily leafing through an outdated issue of Good Housekeeping during the whole experience. She can probably even fall asleep on cue. Can you trust someone like that? Do you want to risk sleeping with someone who can access the personality of Julia Child two seconds before climax? There are risks involved here, people. You need to choose your battles.