Oh, Mrs. Ray... If only your reasonably attractive face could transcend your offensively dorky personality. Confirm my suspicions and tell me that your husband listens to his iPod while you copulate. Personally, I would rather listen to an audio book of Ian Mckellan reading Howard Zinn's People's History of the United States than hear the noises that might emit from your mouth during intercourse. Your voice sounds like that of an anxiety-ridden possum suffering from laryngitis.
Why did you have to create an acronym for Extra Virgin Olive Oil? Why do you insist on attiring yourself in crew-neck long sleeve shirts that you tuck into your Old Navy jeans? This is not justifiable behavior, Rachel.
But wait, wait, hold on. What's that? What did your marsupial voice just croak to me? You say you want to completely redeem yourself by posing for a photoshoot in FHM? Prove it, Ray.
I know. I didn't think they were real either. Until I read an interview with Mrs. Ray in the Huffington Post in which she defends them and says she would do them again in a heartbeat. Damn, Rachel. I had no idea you got down like that.
yikes
ReplyDelete